By Adedoja Adewale


Sometimes, making tough decisions can be difficult, but knowing you are the most important person to YOU can be helpful. You must have been to crossroads, a point where you need to make a careful decision that can turn out to affect you negatively in future, if it not well thought out. Some common events of such are; choosing which department to go in the senior Secondary school (Science, Arts or Commercial), choosing which University to attend, deciding whether to date/marry a person or not and so on. There are special times in your own life where you will need to make certain moves that will cost you something, could be your friend, your money or your pride. However, you know that no matter the price, you must do it. Like Nigerian parents and teachers say when they flog a child- that although they don't enjoy the process, they have to do it to make the child a better person.

I will walk you through how to handle such situations.

1. Don't Panic. You are not the first person to experience it and you will not be the last. Also, that may not be the last of such that you will face. So you should see it as an opportunity to learn for yourself and for the people around you. When such happens again, you will remind yourself about the previous incident and how you dealt with it. Whether it worked out or not, you would have learnt from it. Likewise, when someone with a similar problem is around you, you will speak with experience and knowledge just as I am, now. Philippians 4:6- Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; Fear cripples you. It stops you from thinking straight. Don't fall victim.


2. Count Your Cost. Here you write out what it will cost you to take either of the two or more choices you have. You can write out on a sheet of paper what you stand to gain or lose, so that you will have a clear view of what you are about to do. What can possibly happen if I do? What can possibly happen if I don't? Then compare your lists. From there, you should have an idea of which is weightier than the other. But I tell you what, that's still not a perfect reason for you to or not to do something. Sometimes, things are not always as they seem. So what seems right to you on a sheet of paper might actually be wrong. But it's a step that you should take still. Because often times than not, it contributes to the entire decision making process.

3. Speak to someone about it. If you can speak with somebody personally about the matter comfortably, please go ahead. If you can't, be anonymous about it. You can ask the question like you aren't the one involved. In worst cases, ask Google. Sounds weird, isn’t it? But Google has answers to everything. This article will soon belong to google too. So when someone needs help, Google can show this to the person.

Here's the thing. The purpose of speaking to somebody about it is to have the view of a more matured mind. To learn from such person’s experiences. So if this person can be found on Google, I don't think that should be a problem. Proverbs 11;14-Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

4. Tell yourself this 'whichever way this turns out, I will be fine. Because all things work together for my good' and believe. Don't give yourself unnecessary pressure after taking the decision. Like, 'what if something goes wrong?' No! Trust God. He will solve your problems. He solves them actually, even the unforeseen ones.

Remember that you carried him along in the entire process. He won't fail you.

Times like that will not stop coming, you shouldn't stop learning too.

PS: The above was written with the belief that you are a child of God and the Holy Spirit will guide you through.